Headline of the Day: Hatchet 3 is officially filming

In news that excites and arouses me way more than it should, director Adam Green has confirmed that the latest installment in the gore-spewing slasher series Hatchet is officially filming. 

Zach Galligan, otherwise known as Billy from the Gremlin series (another personal favorite), is set to star in the film, alongside horror icon Derek Mears, best known for playing Jason f*cking Voorhees. Also set to star in the film is Danielle Harris, who played the niece of Michael Myers in the later half of the Halloween series. 

Mears will be playing the chief of a SWAT team assigned to go into the swamps and contain the horrors that have happened there. In other words, it's the original Jason Voorhees vs the new Jason Voorhees. And the fandom rejoiced. 

According to director BJ McDonnell, 

“The story finds Harris hunting down the true secret to ending the voodoo curse that has left Crowley’s ghost terrorizing Honey Island Swamp for decades.”

There is no known release date at the time, but until then I will have to keep changing my pants from the horrgasm. 

Tideland (2005)

Directed by: Terry Gilliam 

Written by: Tony Grisoni and Terry Gilliam 

Origin: Canada 

Genre: "Poetic-Horror"*

Released: 2005

WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW BEFORE SEEING THE FILM.

Not because it has spoilers, but you will understand after you see the film and read this.

*Genre term used by master of body-horror David Cronenberg to describe Tideland

I really did try to resist the urge to post about this film, but I feel that to keep you, the humble reader, unaware of such a hauntingly beautiful film just because it isn't straight up horror would be a crime against the cinematic principles of blogging. 

Now, I say that it is a masterful piece of filmmaking, but I can tell you that this film is not for everyone. Don't believe me? Well, when you start up the dvd, a little introduction by director Terry Gilliam (yes, THAT Gilliam) comes up on the screen and the first thing he says is, "Hey, I have a confession. Most of you are not going to like this movie. Some of you, hopefully, will." He also went on to explain that, since the main character of the film is a child, it is best to set aside your adult beliefs and understandings and see everything in the film as a child would. This is the best piece of advice he could possibly offer, because there are many things in Tideland that will either make you cringe in your seat, or giggle with glee. 

Zombi 2 (1979)

Directed by: Lucio Fulci

Written by: Elisa Briganti and Dardano Sacchetti

Origin: Italy 

Genre: Zombie

Released: 1979

In 1968, George A. Romero gave the world “Night of the Living Dead”, an everlasting testament that proved cannibalism can sell on the big screen, and singlehandedly brought zombies back into the interest of the public, or at least into the smaller percentage of the public that was willingly to admit they get off to the sight of the Undead munching on the gooey flesh-sacks that are the living.

At first, the film reached only the midnight movie crowd and would take about ten more years before zombies began to become a mainstay in the mainstream horror market, and so “Dawn of the Dead” was released into the world. And it was good. Very fucking good, as a matter of fact. I understand that using an expletive is usually unprofessional, but I believe sacrificing a few offended readers (which, nowadays, if you are on the internet you are giving me and millions of others the free will to test your morals) to express how goddamn awesome a film is says a lot about how much I appreciated the film. But I digress.

Prologue: Two Awful Babysitters

For me, the horror began in a quiet living room during the darkest hour of the night, and if I had to blame it on anybody it would be my old babysitters. 


The two of them were sisters, you see, and as such it meant that they always teamed up when it came to keeping a watchful eye on me. That, and in pairs they could charge double the price for having to watch me, but that was teenage economic balance for you. They were the greatest of sisters and they did everything together, even making an ass out of myself, which I am sure brought them great intellectual bonus points for outwitting a five year old. 


Anyway, it was on this night that they decided to bring a movie over. I was in the other room, either playing with my toys our plotting their inevitable downfall, I can't remember which, when I overheard them discussing this movie. One. whom I shall call Tata, was telling the other, whom I shall call Titi, was talking about how scary this movie was, and how even Tata's unfortunate brute of a boyfriend got scared. I was instantly fascinated, both because they said it was an R-rated film and that it had the potential of scaring off Tata's boyfriend, who at this point I highly doubt even existed, but still intrigued me so.